🔗 Share this article

Sometimes, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his periods of extreme self-importance frequently escalate into “detached from reality”, he states. You’re riding high and you think, ‘People will see that I surpass everyone else … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are often succeeded by a “sudden low”, a period when he feels sensitive and ashamed about his actions, making him highly sensitive to negative feedback from external sources. He began to think he might have NPD after researching his symptoms through digital sources – and was later evaluated by a clinician. But, he doubts he would have accepted the diagnosis unless he had already reached that realization by himself. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – most notably if they feel feelings of superiority. They operate in an altered state that they’ve built up. And that world is like, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying NPD

Although people have been labelled as narcissists for more than a century, the meaning can be ambiguous what the term implies the diagnosis. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” says an expert in narcissism, adding the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he notes many people keep it private, due to widespread prejudice linked to the condition. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a strategy of using people to seek admiration through actions such as displaying material goods,” the professor says. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Gender Differences in Narcissism

Although a significant majority of people identified as having NPD are males, findings suggests this number does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that narcissism in women is frequently manifests in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is less commonly diagnosed. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be somewhat tolerated, just kind of like everything in society,” explains a 23-year-old who shares content on her dual diagnosis on social media. It is not uncommon, the two disorders co-occur.

First-Hand Experiences

“I really struggle with handling criticism and being turned down,” she explains, since when I’m told that the problem is me, I often enter self-protection or I become unresponsive.” Even with this behavior – which is known as “ego wounding”, she has been attempting to address it and accept input from her loved ones, as she strives not to return into the damaging patterns of her earlier years. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners as a teenager,” she reveals. With professional help, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she says she and her significant other “maintain an agreement where we’ve agreed, ‘If I say something messed up, if my words are controlling, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing mainly in the care of her father and says she lacked supportive figures as a child. It’s been a process of understanding continuously what is acceptable versus unacceptable to say in conflicts because it wasn’t modeled for me as a kid,” she comments. There were no boundaries when my family members were insulting me during my childhood.”

Underlying Factors of NPD

Conditions like NPD tend to be connected with early life adversity. Genetics play a role,” notes a mental health specialist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “connected with that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he adds, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was based on meeting specific standards. They then “continue to use those same mechanisms as adults”.

Similar to other of the NPD-diagnosed people, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The 38-year-old explains when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve good grades and life achievements, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “worthy.

In adulthood, none of his relationships lasted. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he states. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of forming deep connections, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, like him, has difficulty with mood stability. She is “very supportive of the internal struggles in my head”, he notes – it was surprisingly, she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Subsequent to a consultation to his doctor, he was directed to a mental health professional for an assessment and was told his diagnosis. He has been referred for therapeutic sessions via government-funded care (a long period of therapy is the main intervention that has been shown to help NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the waiting list for 18 months: The estimate was it is expected around maybe February or March next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a few individuals about his mental health status, because “negative perceptions are widespread that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, in his own mind, he has embraced the diagnosis. This understanding allows me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he comments. All of the people have come to terms with NPD and are looking for support for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the diagnosis. But the existence of NPD content creators and the development of digital groups point to {more narcissists|a growing number